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Rain, Deer and 2 Jews: A 2020 Christmas Tale

T’was the morning of Christmas and two Jews were at home. 
A global pandemic meant they could not roam.

While doing a puzzle they heard a faint sound.
It must be the cats batting some toys around.

By the window they noticed something go past.
It didn't move slow, but it didn't move fast.

I asked, "Was that a deer we just saw trot by?"
It can't be, we thought, our fence is quite high.

Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter.
"Holy shit! It's a deer." Our fence didn't matter.

The deer was trapped. She was stuck in our yard.
Getting her out safely was going to be hard.

The deer ran around; hurled herself at the fence.
The situation quickly became quite tense.

If spooked, through our glass door we feared she might burst.
A deer in our house. We imagined the worst.

The fix, we thought, was to get the gates open.
Maybe she'd let herself out. We were hopin'.

We had to get out there. We needed a clearing.
But how could we, without her seeing or hearing?

She cornered herself between the fence and some brush.
Our chance had arisen, but we now had to rush.

Me in boots and jammies; Hubby wearing his Crocs;
Splashed through immense puddles to open the locks.

Now dotted with mud and spattered by rain,
We dashed back to the house looking insane.

We closed the door quietly then stood still to wait.
Would our frantic deer notice the now open gate?

She missed the way out and in a corner got stuck.
Through the window we watched while both whispering, "fuck!"

Moments went past, while she turned round and round.
All of a sudden, toward the gate she was bound.

Once out through the gate, she ran down to the street.
Oregano and I were quick on our feet.

Back into the mud and the rain we both ran.
We each grabbed a gate which we closed with a slam.

Dash away. Dash away. Dash away, doe.
Behind our tall fence is no place to go.

Our clothes and the floor were now covered in dirt.
But we were just happy that no one got hurt.

Let's chalk this up to the year 2020.
A time that was filled with strange things aplenty.


About Paprika Furstenburg

I was born with an overly developed sense of humor and poor coordination. The combination of these two character traits has taught me humility and given me the perspective to find the funny in everyday experiences.

26 responses »

  1. Very clever! Love the rhyme that took some time! The doe was very smart to finally depart! So sorry your floor got dirt, but glad no one got hurt!
    Brava, Paprika! A fun post!
    Big hugs! 😍💜💜💜

  2. You and Oregano are heroes! Not only did you save a deer, but you also successfully put it into verse! I am super-super-super impressed.

  3. Ah, nothing like connecting with nature. Great stuff, Paprika!

  4. That was lovely! An adventure for sure, and great action on your parts! Loved the poetic telling.
    And, based on earlier comments, I am now looking forward to stories of hair. Poetic or otherwise. Photos preferred, of course 🙂

    • All credit for the idea of writing it as a poem goes to Oregano.

      As for the hair story, we will have to see if I can fashion something funny out of that disaster. There are before and after photos, but the during was too visually traumatic to photograph.

  5. This, “deer” cousin, could only happen to you….

  6. LOL…………..LOVED IT!!!!

  7. This is by far the BEST!!!!! I have t stopped laughing….thanks for joy!

  8. As the former DPS Poet Laureate, I humbly bow to your superiority for no particular “rhyme” or reason other than that you deserve it more than I. However, I will take a parting shot at my former glory:
    There was a young deer in NJ,
    Who had trouble finding its way.
    When push came to shove,
    And there was no help from above,
    It was the two spices who gave it a pathway.
    Happy New Year to you both and STAY WELL.

  9. Best one yet!

  10. This was hysterical. Thanks for sharing.

  11. With 2020 nearly behind us, a year very rare, you should start the new year with the tale of my hair!

  12. Love this!! Never a dull moment!


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