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Chronicles of a Corona Captive – Days 17 and 18

I’m starting to feel like one of the castaways from Gilligan’s Island. They thought they were going on 3 hour tour and ended up indefinitely stranded on an island. I thought we’d be home for three weeks, but now we have an indefinite stay at home order. On the bright side, I have more to eat than just coconuts.

Sitting in my “office” all day, I can enjoy a lovely view of the garden. I noticed a squirrel hopping all around the yard digging for acorns. Now he’s hungry?!  Where the hell was he all winter?

Toilet paper reinforcements have arrived! We had about a month’s worth of toilet paper when we began this stay at home adventure. Oregano went to buy our usual 12 roll package and the shelves were completely bare. He tried numerous stores over 2 weeks only to come home empty-handed. Every night I scoured the internet checking store inventories, but that lead to a dead end, too. Out of desperation, I went to the Staples website and was excited to find toilet paper. There was just one catch; it was sold by the case. We now have 80 rolls! Maybe we can use it to build a fort.

After so much time together in the house, we thought we’d change things up a bit. Sadly, the change I am talking about is filters. We had Filter Friday! We celebrated by changing filters on the HVAC unit, the air purifier and the water purifier. We’re exhausted from all the exciting festivities.

Today was my first foray into the world in 20 days. Spring has arrived and so too have my seasonal allergies. I went with Oregano to the pharmacy. With both of us there, we could score twice as much pseudoephedrine and that would be enough to get me to the end of the month. I was all dolled up for my big outing.  It was raining, so my hood was up. My nose and mouth were covered with a scarf. I wasn’t wearing makeup and my itchy, runny eyes were red and puffy. I looked like the lovechild of a bandit and a zombie.

The Mystery of the Missing Thin Mints continues. After reading my post, Oregano saw the box of Thin Mints right where it had been all along. He told me he knew I hadn’t really hidden them. Then he picked up the box. It was empty. He looked at me with a stunned expression on his face and told me I was evil. I just cackled like a witch and said, “This isn’t my first day here.”

About Paprika Furstenburg

I was born with an overly developed sense of humor and poor coordination. The combination of these two character traits has taught me humility and given me the perspective to find the funny in everyday experiences.

14 responses »

  1. Another good one, DIL!
    we are laughing at all the shenanigans! Xoxo

    Reply
  2. Always good to leave a decoy (empty TM box) out in almost full view…sounds like my kinda subterfuge!

    Reply
  3. Another blogger just posted this link for local store inventories. In her case, it actually did send her to a store that had toilet paper. It’s pretty cool, but I haven’t tried it yet myself for real: https://www.instok.org

    Reply
  4. “An indefinite stay at home order” — horrified look! 😮 Today was only our Day 8; it’s been a learning experience so far…

    Sending virtual hugs. And please keep writing – these updates are making my day.

    Reply
  5. So you now are the go to person when anyone has to go? Good find on the TP!!! I true scoured around, went to five stores and was able to get my minimum allotment at 3 of the 5. We are safe. My local Publix continually has BOGOs on needed goodies – chocolate, snacks, cookies, etc. – so am stockpiling that as needed. Am testing some recipes and so far we haven’t gagged. Keep writing!!!

    Reply
  6. I can’t believe you left the empty box there. So evil!! You know I can buy cookies when I’m at the supermarket, right? Of course they won’t be Thin Mints, though. Hmmm, so I guess I’ll have to keep looking.

    Reply

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