Paprika, why?

The question that was the inspiration for the title of this week’s post was an internet search that led some inquisitive soul to Good Humored instead of a website that might actually be helpful. I feel a sense of obligation to people who mistakenly wind up on this blog when searching for legitimate answers to their burning questions. I’ve tried my hand at an advice column in a previous post, so I combed through the search terms for my blog and have selected a few questions that I will attempt to answer in the event that those individuals are still seeking information.

“hearing snap/pop sounds means?????”

The inclusion of 5 question marks in your search leads me to believe that there is a sense of urgency to your question. Without having specific information about the origin of those snapping and popping sounds, I am forced to guess at potential situations in which those sounds might be heard:

If you hear those sounds coming from your joints when you wake up in the morning, you are getting older.

If you hear those sounds while exercising, stop exercising.

If you hear those sounds coming from your bowl of cereal, relax and eat up before the cereal gets soggy.

If you hear those sounds while outside, run.

“did you flush the toilet”

This is an interesting search question. Wouldn’t it just be easier to ask the previous occupant of the bathroom if he or she flushed? Perhaps you could step away from the computer and mosey into the bathroom to see for yourself. I’m not exactly sure how you expect to find the answer to this on the internet. Although, with the new satellite and drone technology they have recently been talking about, I suppose we aren’t far away from having the internet tell us if our toilets have been flushed.

“where do babies come from mcdonalds”

I’m perplexed by this question. Not because I don’t know where babies come from, but because the lack of punctuation makes it difficult to understand exactly what information the inquirer is seeking. I’ve tried different punctuation scenarios in an effort to try to provide you with the most thorough response possible:

Where do babies come from? McDonalds? – No, babies do not come from McDonalds. There are not delivered through the drive through window and don’t come included in a happy meal. You’ve been seriously misinformed.

Where do babies come from, McDonalds? – With this punctuation option, you should have just gone directly to the McDonalds’ website. Perhaps this question is listed under their FAQ page. Or, you could use the contact us option to e-mail your specific question.  While I’m sure most McDonalds’ employees could answer that question, I’m not sure they are the best source of accurate information on the subject. Instead, ask a friend, family member or medical professional.

“can paprika make you itch?”

For the record, Paprika, the blogger, has not been known to cause anyone to itch. I was accused of having cooties back in second grade but I’ve since had my cooty shot and am no longer contagious.

Since allergic reactions can be a serious medical issue, I actually did some research to answer this question unlike the other bullshit answers I made up off the top of my head. As it turns out, there is such a thing as a paprika allergy. So, yes, paprika, the spice, can make you itch.  For some people, a paprika allergy can be life-threatening. There are specifically trained service dogs to help those people detect the presence of paprika.

During my exhaustive research on this topic, I came across an article about a woman in Indianapolis who has a severe paprika allergy. Even inhaling paprika can cause an allergic reaction. In order to accommodate this allergy, her employer removed all food with paprika from vending machines in the building. They also provided her with information about obtaining a service dog, approved her request for the dog and granted her time off to get the dog from Texas. However, the dog’s first day on the job was its last. The woman with the paprika allergy is not permitted to bring the dog to work because one of her co-workers is allergic to dogs. She is now suing her employer. Thank goodness no one in that office is allergic to irony.

Life is filled with questions and people yearning for answers. Sometimes we can find those answers on the internet and sometimes we can’t.