I have a problem. I’ve known about it for quite some time now, but I thought no one else had noticed it. Experts say that the first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one, so I will just come out and say it; I’m addicted to HGTV’s House Hunters and House Hunters International. When I hear the telltale theme music and Suzanne Whang’s voice, I’m lured to the television and entranced for the next 30 minutes. If there is a House Hunters marathon, I could be there for hours. People ask me why I find the show so captivating. Is it the house hunters’ stories about why they are moving to these new locales? Yes! Is it seeing what kind of house $200,000 could buy in Bangkok or San Antonio? Yes! Is it the quirkiness of the homes that don’t come with a kitchen or indoor plumbing? Yes, again! I watch House Hunters because I get to go to open houses all over the world without leaving the comfort of my couch.
I didn’t realize how serious my problem had become until this past weekend when Oregano walked into the family room and with great concern in his voice said, “House Hunters is on. Why are you facing away from the television and staring out the window? Are you OK? Have you seen this episode before?”
Without turning my head to glance in his direction, I pointed out the window and replied, “There’s a bird that keeps flying from the branch of the maple tree to the birdhouse. He hasn’t gone into the birdhouse yet, but he seems to be considering moving into the neighborhood.”
Oregano looked out the window at the bird as I continued, “Birdhouse 1 is a brightly colored, traditional, A-frame in a quiet, tree-lined neighborhood. There is a small-scale entry, perfect for the security petite birds often need when being harassed by their larger, bird neighbors. It is an ideal starter home for a young couple about to begin a family. The home was renovated last summer and it is in move-in ready condition.”
As soon as I finished speaking, Oregano and I burst out laughing at how ridiculous I sounded. We sat mesmerized by the bird’s actions until it flew away without committing to a property. Did this bird fly off to tour the other bird real estate available in our garden? If so, would he visit 3 of our 5 currently unoccupied homes before making a decision?
In my best Suzanne Whang imitation, I began describing Birdhouse 2. “This well maintained, older home has a lovely garden view. While the interior of the home may seem cramped, there are many branches in nearby trees that can be used as outdoor living space. Since this home was previously occupied by empty-nesters who are now downsizing and moving south, all of the furnishings are included in the list price. Although a bit farther away from amenities and the popular, local restaurant, The Bird Feeder, this home is still within easy flying distance for a short commute.”
Oregano followed me to the living room windows and I continued my sales pitch, “Birdhouse 3 is an intriguing option in a completely different neighborhood than the other two homes. It’s located in a new development with plenty of nearby trees and restaurants of its own. This non-traditional, modern home boasts high ceilings and a spacious interior with an open floor plan. Being made from a hollowed out gourd makes this home ideal for the eco-conscious bird family that wants to lessen its impact on the environment.”
“It’s a buyer’s market for the many birds that are returning to our garden from their winter abroad. Which houses will they choose?” I said concluding my birdhouse real estate presentation. Oregano shook his head with laughter and disbelief, “It might be time for me to remove HGTV from our channel line-up and stage an intervention for you.”
He might be right this time.
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Thanks to Clip Snark, Laughing at Everyday Life, Elyse at FiftyFourandAHalf and Curly Carly at That’s Just Ridiculous for inviting me to play blog tag with them and for sending some of their readers my way. I look forward to reading each of their blogs, so pop on over and tell ’em Paprika sent you.
Many thanks to Tracey from Cupcakingly Delicious Cake Diaries for honoring me with a Versatile Blogger Award. If you’d like a calorie free way to enjoy some dessert, head on over to her blog.