Like many bloggers, I check my statistics page frequently. For the non-bloggers reading this, WordPress provides an assortment of information including the number of views the blog has had, which posts people have been reading and the search terms that led them to the blog. During my first six months blogging, I was only marginally interested in the search terms. These words didn’t register on my mental radar screen until the day I saw that someone searched for “man shoveling huge pile of pee” and found their way to my blog. How did a search on that topic direct someone to Good Humored? Why is someone searching for this? How exactly does one shovel a pile of liquid? There are so many disturbing components to this statement that it could be an entire post on its own.
Oregano and I quickly realized the entertainment value of this portion of the statistics page and never overlooked it again. Every day we amused ourselves by matching search terms to my posts. Some associations were easy to spot. The numerous, daily “Imelda Marcos shoes” searches led people to The Pick-Up Artist. The search on “mouse pox experiment” was more obscure. Our best guess was that this search pointed to The End of The Great Summer Blog Experiment, although no mice were harmed during that experiment. In fact, there weren’t any mice at all in that experiment. Sensing the humor in these search terms, I started recording them and after a few weeks, a pattern emerged. There are a lot of people considering nudism as a lifestyle and they have a lot of questions. The post titled The Upside of Being a Nudist lured these knowledge seekers to Good Humored. I collected and organized the nudism related searches into categories to make them easier to share with you. None of these have been altered or embellished for the sake of comedy, as you will read; there was no need to do that.
“should I become a nudist”
“why become a nudist”
“can you become a nudist @ 15”
“should I wear clothes or become a nudist”
“why is being a nudist good”
Becoming a nudist is a personal choice that can impact social lives and careers. Why are people consulting Google about this major life change? Why not use a Magic 8 Ball, too? Since these people are seeking answers, I will offer this bit of advice as a lifelong non-nudist. If you are considering becoming a nudist, but are unsure, why not gently ease yourself into this new lifestyle before you give away all of your clothes? Become a part-time nudist. Start by walking around your house naked. Then, try removing your shirt in public and see how things go. If you enjoy the experience, keep subtracting clothing until you get down to your birthday suit. I wish there was some way that I could connect the people who are contemplating nudism as a way of life with the individuals who searched on “being a nudist is great” and “joy of being a nudist.” Whoever these people are, they seem to love being nude and would probably be great spokespeople for nudism.
These next two searches did not appear on the same day, but I have taken the liberty of combining them here as I think they are inherently related to each other:
“motivate myself to be a nudist”
“nudism and losing weight”
If you have to psych yourself up to become a nudist, you might not be ready to make the change. On the other hand, perhaps seeing your naked self reflected in the mirrors and windows you pass would serve as a constant reminder to make healthy food choices and exercise more often. The disgusted stares of passersby might be all the motivation you need to lose weight. Being a nudist would help shave a few pounds off the scale, but it does seem a bit extreme. Why not weigh yourself without your clothes then put them back on?
“how to become a nudist”
“when did I become a nudist”
On the surface, how to become a nudist seems like a relatively easy question to answer: take off your clothes and leave them off. I’m sure there are more specifics about nudism culture and etiquette on the web, but that information can’t be found on my blog. My bigger concern is reserved for the person who doesn’t remember when he or she became a nudist. How does someone not know this? Was becoming a nudist a conscious choice or did this person wake up naked in a field with no memory of adopting this new lifestyle only to return home to find all of their closets and drawers bare?
“nudists doing chores”
“nudist @ iron”
Even nudists have chores to do. Floors need to be swept. Dishes need to be washed. Not wearing clothes doesn’t excuse one from these mundane household tasks. The search about a nudist ironing really intrigued me. What does a nudist have to iron? Socks? Tablecloths? Towels? Ironing in the buff is a potential health hazard. It can’t be a good idea to have exposed body parts dangling near a hot iron. To me, one of the benefits of being a nudist is the freedom from the drudgery of laundry and ironing.
Someone else wondered “when is it too cold to be a nudist?” That’s an excellent question, but it is subjective. Each person’s tolerance for cold temperatures is different. Is it too cold when you shiver? Get goosebumps? Have icicles hanging off of your uncovered appendages? Shoveling while naked might be where some nudists draw the line. Even a die-hard nudist has limits. One doesn’t want to die of exposure.
Whatever search it was that led these wanna-be nudists and nudism enthusiasts to Good Humored, I hope they were eventually able to find the information they were looking for because it certainly wasn’t contained on this blog. As for the person who was searching for “man shoveling huge pile of pee,” … good luck with that.