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Looking for Last Minute Gift Ideas?

Perhaps you aren’t quite done with your holiday shopping. Maybe there are a few  people on your list who are hard to buy for. I think I might be able to help. During the past week, advertisements have popped up on television and on signs alongside the road. They suggested  some unusual gifts that I never would have considered:

The Jesus Toaster – For the devout gift recipient – This handy, dandy little kitchen appliance toasts up your bread while browning the image of Jesus Christ onto your toast. Which side should you butter? I’m not Christian, but biting into Jesus’ head seems to be sacrilegious.  This toaster also comes in a Star of David model suitable for Hanukkah gift giving. A non-denominational peace sign and pot leaf are also available for the hippies on your list. There are 25 different designs. Why limit yourself to just one?

Weather-Tech car floor mats – For the slob on your gift list – Who wouldn’t want a new set of rubberized car mats for the floor?  According to the commercial, they make a great gift and do an excellent job of keeping your car floor protected from mud, slush and all manner of filth. Nothing says I’m thinking of you more than the gift of cleanliness.

Chia-pets – For the gardener on your list – It’s winter. Gardening opportunities are sparse in the north. Tending a Chia pet may be just the gardening fix for someone who longs for the spring planting season. They come in a variety of animals and cartoon characters. For the history buffs on your list there is now even a Chia Obama from their new Special Edition Proud to Be An American series which also includes Chia Lincoln, Chia Washington and Chia Liberty. Get them before supplies run out. They are sure to be collector’s items. For the chef on your list, you can select the Chia Gourmet Herb Garden. Fresh herbs grown right in your kitchen window during the cold and darkness of winter. With such a wide variety of Chia products, you can find the perfect gift for anyone on your list.

Sky-Diving Gift Certificate – For the thrill-seeker on your list – or the person on your list that you really don’t like  – Signs on the side of the road suggested sky-diving gift certificates as a Christmas gift. Nothing says I cherish our friendship/relationship more than giving someone the opportunity to hurl themselves from a plane. I’m sure this company is reputable. Clearly they were frugal with their advertising budget by using poster board and wooden sticks strategically placed near the entrance to the mall. Those extra dollars were probably spent on top quality safety equipment.

About Paprika Furstenburg

I was born with an overly developed sense of humor and poor coordination. The combination of these two character traits has taught me humility and given me the perspective to find the funny in everyday experiences.

42 responses »

  1. I am desperate to find someone I can give the Jesus toaster to.

  2. Pingback: Life Lesson Learned: Foolish Pride Makes For Lonely Christmas (And A Headache) | Thirty Years Of Growing Pain(s)

  3. LOL! I once got my nana the holy ghost on toast and the nuns with bad habits calendar! I think the toaster takes it to a whole new level! Love it!

    • They have an entire line of religious toasters. Every day, you could have a different religious icon with your breakfast. I wonder though, if you are eating Jesus toast, do you still have to say a blessing before the meal?

  4. Jesus Toaster? Gives new meaning to “this is the body of Christ”.

    • What I find even more amusing abou the Jesus toaster is that they are being sold by a company that also sells pot leaf toasters. That’s covering all the bases and making sure you have a wide demographic of potential customers.

  5. The toaster and your comments are priceless!

  6. I just realized you held back on us?! Not only can I spend money on the lovely jesus toaster but the top right corner of their web page let me know, I could also make money by joining the Burnt Impressions de affiliate programm – I believe this is what jesus wanted to teach us about having more when you give freely 😉

  7. Paprika – I know I haven’t been around in a while, but I returned and one of my first acts of business was to nominate you for the “Liebster Award” – I really hope you accept it because I know you deserve it! For further information take a look at my most recent post – Thank you for being you! K.

    • K- So glad to see you back again! I’ve poked onto your blog a few times in the last two months and saw that you hadn’t been posting. I look forward to seeing more of your posts soon. Thank you so much for nominating me for the Liebster Award. What you wrote on your blog about me was truly touching. Thank you for such kind words. Knowing I managed to create something that makes someone laugh and smile is one of the best compliments you could offer me. There’s not enough laughter in the world today and I’m trying to do my small part to change that.

      • And you are doing an excellent job at it (at least in humble opion) 😉 You are very welcome – I know it’s well deserved and I know you will pass it on to deserving writers / bloggers have well – looking forward to your acceptance speech 🙂

  8. Gourmet Magazine used to have the most delicious ideas for gifts. If you read my post, Memorial to Gourmet Magazine, you’d have a small idea why I loved that magazine so much.
    Your unusual gifts are certainly things I’d give if we were invited to a party that had “Secret Santas.”

  9. These are all great gift ideas. I’m sorry to say I got you the floor mats for Hanukkah – I know you like to be clean!

    I found one more interesting gift idea for the person who has everything, well, everything except underpants:

    Instant Underpants
    These underpants are conveniently compressed into a compact pellet. Just soak them with water momentarily and they’ll loosen up so that you can pull them apart! And remember, it’s better to have damp underpants than no underpants at all! Each 2-1/2″ round tin contains one pellet of disposable unisex underpants.

    • Eeeewww…damp, unisex underpants. I bet they are one size fits all, too. What websites were you trolling to find that gift item?

      • Ya think some medical guy was drumming up future business? I mean, save the package to show the Doc to explain the odd rashes / fungus / infections….wait, that’s the answer – gifts for people you hate websites!

      • What I don’t understand about this product is if you can’t remember to pack your regular underwear, how are you going to remember to pack your pop-up undies?

        If you do find yourself in a situation with wet, unisex pop-up undies, it does seem to be an excellent idea to save the packaging to show the doctor who will be treating you for the ensuing skin maladies.
        Thanks for playing along.

  10. Actually, I think I could use some of those Weather-Tech car floor mats for my children’s bedrooms . . .

  11. Those ideas are for those unfortunate enough not to make it out on Black Friday:)

  12. When I saw the Jesus toaster on TV, I immediately felt a blog from Paprika was in the making!! Also love Bob’s moses comb! Very funny, Pap!!

  13. Oh so many thoughts…Jesus Toaster- hilarious. Chia Pet- you would be amazed how quickly those get snatched up at Chinese Christmas gift exchanges. Sky Diving gift card- my siblings and I got one for my dad once. He still hasn’t used it. That was a good chunk of change down the drain…I recommend making sure someone really wants to do it before paying for it.

    • I agree with you about the sky-diving gift certificate. I would only do that if someone specifically asked for it. What made me laugh about the signs is that they were just stuck in the ground by the entrance to the mall like you’d buy a sky-diving gift certificate as an impulse purchase.

  14. sandy czarkowski

    let the shopping begin……..

  15. Great post….can’t top these gift ideas, except perhaps for the new and improved Moses comb and brush set that I have been reading about. It parts your hair for you in the morning when you are too sleepy to do it yourself…..

  16. I admit it, I wanted a Chia Pet once. It was amusing, but then some people might consider me weird! Of course, I wanted it for the laughs it brought me and my family!

    I love your list and may steal the idea next year! Feel free to let us know if you find any more great gift ideas!!!!!

    • I had been toying with the idea for this post when I saw the Jesus Toaster on TV last week, but seeing the signs for sky-diving gift certificates when I drove past the mall today just put me over the edge. I felt compelled to write.

  17. Please tell me you made up the Jesus toaster. I just took a Percocet and I think I will be staring at the photo all night.


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